:: Where is it now? ::
When I was still a small kid, I'd always wanted a furry pet. A puppy. Someone/dog to play with, to greet me when I'm back, to snuggle up on my feet when I'm watching the tv. But, as always, mum will say, "No! You dont have the heart of sympathy. You'll mistreat the puppy." So, I was sad that I'm labelled, "No Sympathy." and no pet, well, maybe a puffed cheek goldfish which I named it as Pui Pui.
When I was in poly, there'll be this uncle security guard at the library, always having this scowling face, and will stopped students, who
- had improper attire
- with food
- had the gender, male
- had the face that he doesnt like
from entering the library. He machiam look at us like a custom officer at the causeway. So nobody like him.
One day, I saw him sitting outside the library, on a chair. I think he was stationed there. So I told Ebi, "He actually very ke lian. Sit alone there." Ebi throw me a look and said amusingly, "Crazy girl. Anyhow sympathise people. That day see the girl eating alone, you also said she is very ke lian. Anyhow ke lian people." I frowned and replied, "But he really very ke lian. Nobody like him. Then he sit alone there." Ebi monotonously said, "Then you go sit with him lor." There, I was labelled, "Sympathy overflowed."
Years now, I faced this teacher who has been around way before I was here. She was a newly graduated teacher and was the type who think very 'straight'. A down-to-earth auntie outlook with a inner heart of a girl. She was the one who asked me "How ah?" when her students did not get the correct experiment outcome. So, one day, gossip from Bio revealed that she was crying while doing/receiving appraisal from our subject head. It was said that she had the worst appraisal among all chem teachers (which include teachers 'fresher' than her). MCP said, "Sad ah, she cried." I stonely replied, "No mah, there must be a reason why she was the worst. Cry for what?" MCP replied, "Aiyoh, people sad mah." I replied stonely again, "If she's the worst, then she should know where she went wrong and not cry. No use for crying what." MCP gave up on my arguement. Then today, as usual, she came in and tell me the visualiser cannot work. I mean, you have been here for longer than I am and its been so long and you still dont know how to use? I also dunno the exact function. There's video button and RGB button. Just press til you get it! Maybe it's me. I'm too used to fiddle around with tech stuffs. So back to topic. I, once again, helped her. But she's still very kind to thanks me and apologise. Then I went back to my room, thinking, "Where has my sympathy gone to? I didnt even bother to teach her how to operate." Then my heart for sympathy came back, "She very ke lian. Dunno how to operate the thing. I was bad to jeer at her." But not before I remember something. She has never smile or greet me outside the lab area. Machiam treat me like a passerby A.
Therefore the realistic me took over the emotional me. Sometimes I find that myself being too realistic. Being too straightforward with my words too. Like I had a mini showdown with MCP. I saw a funnel, supposedly placed for refilling chemicals into bottles. But we are using measuring jug, so there's no need to use funnel. Bluntly and jokingly, I asked, "This is for what ah?" MCP saw and realised, "Eh? Paiseh lah. I forget we using measuring jug." I replied, "Ya lor, thats why I asked. This one for what." MCP a bit angered now, "Need to be so sacarstic meh?" I saw his pissed off face and at that split moment, I felt sorry for my bluntness. Then, awkward silence. But! soon, I remembered something. "Why he cannot accept mistake?! Why he must had such strong reaction?! Cannot accept joke ah? Cannot accept sacarsm ah? Then why you using sarcasm at people all the time also? One way ticket only ah? Cannot accept round trip ah?" So once again, I'm glad my sensibilty took over my sense. Stupid perfectionist. Bleh!
